Creating a computer game is hard. Like, really hard, not to mention time-consuming. But graphics sell, and in the just-released demo for NBA Live 16 by EA Sports, the graphics are taking the brunt of the criticism. It's not that the graphics won't eventually all be good – some of the scans of players right now are amazing and show the potential. Note that I said "some." So far the Denver Nuggets have wound up on the short end of that visual stick.
People are compiling All-Star lists of the worst faces, and players are getting into the act as well.
So how did our Nuggets fare? Apparently our whole team is in the 20% that somehow missed getting scanned thus far. The pictures below are pulled from this roster that has all the teams represented (it’s about 10 minutes long). Mudiay is not pictured, but then again, neither is most of our roster it seems.
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Danilo Gallinari – Really? This is the best they could do? Looks like he got lost on a way to an emo Monster Truck rally. Thankfully they didn’t try to get his neck-nest into this picture. Stay shaved, Gallo, please…
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Wilson Chandler – Even with extra-fluffy old man hair, at least he’s recognizable. Not sure why his goatee was colored in with a Magic Marker, though, and he seems a LITTLE light on tattoos. Might be missing one or two. Maybe 12.
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Randy Foye – There’s a good resemblance. Of course his head has grown two, maybe three sizes. Looks like a Foye and Afflalo mash-up the longer I look at it. Hmm.
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Kenneth Faried – sort of looks like the Klingon version, which happens to look a lot like the regular verson.
Jameer Nelson – looks like Jameer Nelson! Who’da thought?
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Jusuf Nurkic – On the other hand, this looks like Norm McDonald trying out for Forrest Gump. “Life is like a box of chocolates..” He also has a twin in a Bulls uni.
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Will Barton – completely recognizable as Will. Good job game designers.
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J.J. Hickson – they forgot the neck bolts on this version of JJ Frankenstein, but I think his head still has the appropriate stitch-marks. Awkward look, but I can still tell it’s Hickson.
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Gary Harris – Apparently Gary has a water bubble under his forehead, or maybe a tumor. “It’s not a toomah…”
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Nick Johnson – wow is that unfortunate. Sorry Nick. Not really sure how this wound up looking more like Turtle from Entourage than you, but I promise I didn’t do it.
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Kostas Papanikolau – gets my vote in the "which avatar looks like a contract killer" sweepstakes.
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Erick Green – if it was a police sketch, I’d never pick Erick out of a lineup based on this picture.
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Joffrey Lauvergne– not even worth a picture yet, nor stats to go with it.
Our whole team is currently scribbled in with an Etch-A-Sketch, basically. I’m not even gonna bother with the ratings (the Pacers have 4 players rated higher than our highest, Gallo, and Harrison Barnes is rated higher than him as well). We’re expected to lose a lot and the ratings reflect that interpretation of our talent. I’ll just take these rankings and approximations of pictures as a slight against the honor of the Nuggets and will expect an apology once we’re slapping the rest of the West around. Soo… maybe next year.
What do you think, Nuggets fans?
